This Valentine’s Day – Will I Be Yours?

We’re down to our last ten gigs guys! I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you for coming along for the ride. You’re comments have kept me going and I love all of you.

This is just a reminder that you have to put someone’s first name, last initial in the comment box below and get that person to sign up for the daily gig (the link: https://sallytaylor.com/writer/#tales), to be eligible to get ME (hand knit me) when the tour ends. Deadline for sign-ups is Valentine’s Day so… instead of “Will you be mine?” I’m gonna ask you this….

WILL I

BE YOURS?

Near Indianapolis, IN – “Wet Blankets” – July 22, 2002

I’m starting to feel depressed.  Brian, the sound guy (ya know, the one we picked up while Delucchi is finishing up a tour) is busy talking about “Leftover Salmon,” (the band, not the fish).  He’s saying how great it is to be in a tour bus with 12 bunk beds and a kitchen and a restroom and how much money they make on merch, gigs, and fly dates. While I’m climbing into the back seat of the van (to let him have the comfier middle seat I might add) I overhear him saying to the rest of the band, “I’d never take a van gig longer than a couple weeks. It’s God Damn depressing.”  And what I’d like to say is, Yeah, try adding an ungrateful wet blanket to the mix and see just how much more somber it can get.

Couldn’t find LOS’s bus but here is Ben Rector showing you exactly what Brian was bragging about.

Now, back on the highway, I feel the depression seeping in as I stare out the window, considering comeback lines I could’ve countered with.  Because frankly, if you’re not looking for silver linings, it is depressing to be on the road — in a van packed with empty wrappers and five-hour drives between gigs and the slender wad in my back pocket that accounts for the $175 we got to play last night (which doesn’t even cover one hotel room).  It’s depressing to think that the guys in my band are salivating over Brian’s description of Leftover Salmon’s cushy bus.  It’s depressing to be away from my new fiancé when all I want is the comfort of his arms and I start to think how much nicer they would feel than 12 bunk beds and a toilet.  It’s depressing that we’re only two gigs into our tour and last night, on stage, was sloppy. 

All that makes any of this bearable is the applause and praise and that’s just plastic, smoke, vellum, not real love just a replica… a false idol. OK, I’ve got to stop this pessimism before I fall off the ledge and take the band with me.  I might be the only thing that’s keeping us afloat.  And after all, it’s not so terrible and it’s only a month of my time and I’m doing this to see if I still want to do this.  OK, feeling better.

On to Zains Too.

Bozeman, MT – “Isn’t it Nice to be Home Again” – Brick Breeden Fieldhouse -Sept. 19, 2001

During sound check, Dad decides I should sing “Sign of Rain,” and then “Close Your Eyes” with him, as an encore. I’m over the moon.

It’s thrilling to be on stage with him – the juxtaposition of being recognized as a “grown-up” singer in front of all those people while feeling like a little girl next to him. It’s a meditation to be on his stage – between the lights and shadows and bows and harmonies and butterflies. I love my Dad.

After the last song, we jump on his tour bus and begin our journey south toward Sun Valley. The bus smells like my childhood.  

There’s Mexican takeout on the counter and we make up songs about chicken enchiladas as we sip Stewarts Ginger Beer and brace ourselves as the bus wags its way through the parking lot, dodging cars and fans. Dad has a PayDay candy bar, he’s pilfered from the kraft services table at the gig and offers to share it with me. Arnold McCuller emerges from the back of the bus already in his pajama bottoms. We curl up with the rest of the band, on the cold leather couches and watch “Vampire in Brooklyn.” 

When I feel my head nod without my consent for the third time, I excuse myself to turn in for the night.  I grab the bunk above pops. It’s the one he cleared for me before the show but already it’s full again with his stuff —  half-empty water bottles, a single sock, a medicine kit from the last hotel, and his favorite green sweatpants. Before I nod off, I hear him snoring below and think to myself between the bump and the brake, “Isn’t it nice to be home again.”

New York City – “Meeting Tarantino Part 2” – The Bitter End – October 21, 2000

CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY….

After The Point, in Bryn Mawr, night before last, Soucy decided to get 3 bags of laundry done (at 1am no less), napping between loads. This made for a junk night of sleep for me. His alarm went off every half hour proceeded by what felt like passive-aggressive turning on and off of lights. The roof was tin, so the torrential rain echoed like a thousand construction workers opening brown paper bag lunches. It was impossible to get any honest rest. The morning of the 19th hurt and our Itinerary was stacked:

  • Oxygen Media (Oprah’s Network) TV show: 10:45 am
  • CD Now interview (at The Bitter End): 5:00 pm
  • CNN interview (at The Bitter End): 5:45 pm
  • Sound Check: 6:00 pm
  • Doors: 7:00 pm
  • Show: 8:30 pm
  • WNEW radio interview: 11-3 am

Oxygen Media’s office sat above the Chelsea Flower Market, a bustling maze of fragrances and sounds that overwhelmed the senses. Fresh blooms mingled with bread, chocolate, and the bass drum hum of New York City, hot and unrelenting. Walking through the brick-hauled hallways, blue guitar in hand, I felt like a wraith gliding through the chaos. The noise, the heat, the smoke—they all seemed to break around me like waves on a rock.

Upstairs, we were greeted by a showrunner, “Nikki,” who brought us coffee, bagels, and flowers, and settled the band in a huge, clean, comfortable, unnecessary but much-appreciated dressing room. Kenny parked himself in front of the TV and turned up the volume on the show being filmed in the control booth next door. Quentin Tarantino was on in a Hawaiian shirt, flailing his arms around frantically talking about the new script he’s writing — a movie called “Kill Bill.” He was high on his own brilliance and Delluchi, staring at the screen mused, “Man I’d like to smoke that guy up.” So, I put on my cutest pink skirt and sauntered into the hall just as the producer was escorting Quenten out and I “just happened to” bump into him.

It was the least I could do for Delucchi after all the stress I’ve put him through this tour. “This is Sally Taylor, Quentin,” the producer introduced us. “Oh, it’s so nice to meet you,” I may or may not have said flirtatiously. “Sally Taylor,” said Quentin, bowing his head to kiss my hand, “I’ve heard a lot about you. You playing the show now?” He asked cooly. I brought him back to our dressing room and poured him a cup of coffee while Delucchi beamed at me and offered him a blunt.

Playing at The Oxygen Media Show

Quentin was hysterical! He had us all laughing so hard I got the hiccups. Knowing it’s impossible to sing with hiccups, Quentin frantically insisted he help me get rid of them, only making me laugh harder. You know when you meet someone you feel you’ve known your entire life? That’s what it was like with Quentin. He was familiar, fun and after watching our set, a fan of our music. He requested a ticket for The Bitter End that night.

Backstage hundreds of thousands of band stickers, desperate for attention, culung to the splintery dark walls and I stuck mine up there too. CD Now and CNN came to interview me before our stage call and the show was packed to the gills. Jimmy Buffett, who’d recorded our most recent show at Steven Talkhouse for his webcast, “Margaritaville” sent Chris Blackwell (Founder of Island Records) and Russ Titleman (Producer) to the show and, as someone handed me a newly printed Vanity Fair bought from the newsstand on the corner, I couldn’t help thinking, this is our time. This is our break. This is Apt Success (APT. #6S)

It was thrilling to see my face in such a fancy, glossy magazine and more thrilling still to watch Quinten Tarantino bounce in his seat to “Happy Now” and later, ask to be our roadie* for the night. He helped us tear(ntino) down and shlep our gear to the van. He kissed me on the mouth between loads and told that “When We’re Together” was his new favorite song and that I was amazing. Driving away from the city, I felt important, scared and lonely.


Footnote:

Roadie: A member of a crew for a traveling group of musicians or other entertainers, whose work usually includes the setting up and tearing down of equipment.

Media, PA – “Gratitude” – The Walden School – Oct 12, 2000

Those of you who’ve been on the road with us from the git go know how much playing for the kids at The Walden School in Media, PA means to me. Walden in Media is my happy place, my refuge, my spa day. No matter how I arrive—exhausted, heartbroken, or road-burned—the kids meet me exactly where I am, with open arms and endless love. They lift me up, erase the sorrow from my face with their hugs, and bring me back to my core.

Today, they outdid themselves. They were waiting for me on the lawn, holding acrostic poems they’d created after our last visit in Spring. They couldn’t have known just how much I needed this—how deeply their sweet words would heal me. Each poem was a gift, a priceless reminder of why I do what I do. It was exactly what I needed after this long, winding, backbending, challenging year on the road.

Though I could pour my heart out forever, I’ll let the photos do the talking. To the kids at Walden, thank you for restoring my spirit, my sanity, and my soul. You are my light.

Listening to acrostic poems

Thank you, Walden kids. You are simply THE BEST.

Buffalo, NY – “What’s your flavor honey?” – The Tralf – May 28

Ani Difranco’s label “Righteous Babes,” is in Buffalo, and Craig, our stage manager at The Tralf said the folks there were interested in meeting me. “Would you all want to head down there after sound check?” he asked.  Of COURSE we did and it did not disappoint.  Righteous Babes was full of righteous babes with slightly stoned smiles and purple highlights in their hair.  It was inspiring to see what Ani’s created under her own steam and the landscape she’s managed to clear for women in music is vastly beautiful. Frankly, Ani’s my idol. She’s exactly what I aspire to be: an artist with a thriving record company, grown from scratch. Righteous Babe is a RIGHTEOUS place!

The stage at The Tralf sounded GREAT and Buffalo really showed up for us, even on a Wednesday night.  A few parents managed to smuggle their kids into the show and I insisted they come up on stage and dance to “All This Time” with me.

Screenshot

As we packed equipment at the end of the gig, Craig instructed us to drop what we were doing and follow him down to a predominantly gay dance club on the ground floor.

“Word on the street is that you’re nursing a broken heart,” he looked me up and down like he was going to guess my weight before he opened the door to the club. “You straight?” he asked.  I nodded.  He waved his hand apologetically and said he’d introduce me to the “right” people.

The men were beautiful! adorned in pumps, pink boas, gloss to match, and huge, bulb earrings (I was pretty sure had once belonged to a Christmas Tree). These gorgeous men lip sank to Madona and took turns strutting the length of the red-carpeted stage.  They stopped now and again to bite a dollar out of someone’s flirtatious hand and Kyle, delighted, filmed the whole thing.

I just wanted to dance, to sweat away my sadness and rejection.   I lost track of the time to glitter and Abba and some pretty powerful teal-colored drinks a handsome guy (who wasn’t Sam) was only too happy to ply me with.  Tonight was supposed to be the start of Sam’s and my reunion weekend and I imagined him, instead of with me, night swimming under stars at Lake Havasu while I swam in lights from a swirling disco ball and the sweat of strangers.

Incidentally, I booked a flight back to Martha’s Vineyard tomorrow. If I couldn’t be with Sam on Memorial Day, I wanted to be with my mama who knows better than anyone how to turn a broken heart into a life raft of songs. Besides, I couldn’t stand the idea of spending 3 days in Misouri with the rest of the band who had their hearts set on riding rollercoasters and eating fried dough. That was no way for this gal to heal. No, I was dedicated to spending the weekend with my mama, writing music that might extract the poison from my system and get it down on the page. Mama said she’d be my kerchief and there is no one on earth I’d rather shed tears on.

When the clock struck midnight, a man dressed in a fringed yellow leotard, canary heels, lemon stockings, and a canopy of red curls took the stage to announce the upcoming contest we were about to witness; Ten men, scantily clad took the stage and one woman got up there too.  The contest was (and parents, you might want to skip to the next paragraph to spare your children’s innocence) a competition to see who could “fuck the inflatable lamb’s ass with a pink plastic strap on the sexiest.”  Each contestant, took the spotlight, strapped on the strap on, and went to town on this poor inflatable animal.  The crowd went wild.  Kenny, out of nowhere appeared beside me.  “This is fucking awesome,” he said, mesmerized.  The yellow fringe leotarded emcee was ecstatic — a virtual electrified Big Bird of a man.  He egged everyone on quipping into the mic “Does this lamb look happy to you?!?!” and the audience went nuts.

The girl won.  She was sexy as all hell and hella ballsy for getting up there in the first place.  It was definitely time to go and Kenny and I searched for the rest of the band in a sea of feathers, flinging arms, and purple drinks.  We found Soucy, wide-eyed eyed coming out of the women’s loo. “You OK?” I asked. “Ya,” he shook himself, “some fourteen-foot dude just came up behind me at the urinal and asked me ‘What’s your flavor honey?’”

It’s become our new favorite catchphrase.

A Day Off ….

I thought I’d give you a day off to prepare for “The Road Warrior” West Coast Tour that starts next week!!!! In the meantime, here’s the roster and the entire Tomboy Bride Album to bone up on. You never know when we might call you up on stage to take a solo and we don’t want you to be unprepared. Rest up. Drink plenty of water and buckle up. It’s gonna be a wild ride.

Enjoy….

Mother’s Day 2024 – “The Gift” – A Special

What do you give someone who has everything?  I Googled with a crinkled brow and hitched breath.  Various sponsored sites offering floral arrangements, gourmet culinary delights, and silk pillows appeared on the screen, but Google didn’t understand!  I needed something better than all that.  I needed something huge, timeless, weightless, touching, surprising, customized, and easy to pack. You see, my mother isn’t just anyone – she’s a songwriter. A lauded, celebrated, ‘You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you’ kind of songwriter. She’s Carly Simon. And I’m her daughter, Sally Taylor – a musician in my own right, treading pathways she pioneered.

The Star That You Are

Growing up, the offspring of such an iconic figure could easily engulf one in a shadow so vast, it might seem impossible to find your own light. But here’s the thing – Mama always had an uncanny way of making space for my cacophonies amidst her own symphonies. She was an oak that made sky for a sapling, an ocean that welcomed a stream.  To me, she is more than just a mother; she is my first and final audience. Imagine, then, trying to encapsulate all my gratitude and all of those feelings into a single gift.

I wasn’t just trying to say “Thank you” in a language that transcended words either.  Life, in its unforeseeable manner, began offering a challenging score for my mother in recent years. The once unstoppable force behind the piano had to confront her own vulnerabilities – first with hip surgery followed by two knee surgeries, daunting enough,  but in 2023 she was confronted with a Parkinson’s diagnosis and a smattering of other medical and emotional misfortunes that would have drown the most resilient swimmer.  Each recovery was an unwelcome intermission.  At times I feared her bed would swallow her whole as she lost bone density and muscle mass between the sheets. 

But never make the mistake of betting against Carly Simon folks.  My mama is one of the most resilient, humorous, spirited humans on the planet.  How else could she have battled a debilitating stammer, paralyzing stagefright, and the countless trials of being a female musician in the 60s, 70s, 80s & 90s to become known as one of the greatest singer/songwriters on the planet of all time?   My mission, after witnessing her multitudinous challenges was to help strengthen her greatest asset of all: hope.  It brought into sharper focus the need for a gift that was not just profound but healing, a reminder of the inner strength and resilience that still resided within her, regardless of life’s cruel twists. Something that would lift her out of her bed and lift her spirits by making her laugh.

I needed a gift that encapsulated a lifetime of memories and laughter while being light enough to fit into a carry-on.  When Google finally got the significance of what I was asking for it presented me with exactly what I needed: Songfinch.  I knew immediately it held the key to something special.  It offered a platform to have a song tailor-made for my mama, written by a professional songwriter (other than me) in a genre of my choosing and sprinkled with personal anecdotes. I decided, after hours of listening to their sample songs and envisioning my mother’s smile, that this was the canvas I needed.

The process was simple; I provided some details of my mother’s life, the key messages I wanted to convey, and a few inside jokes (for example, how much she loves tapioca pudding and would eat it exclusively if left to her own devices) and Songfinch took it from there. The result was just what I’d been looking for, a song that not only said “thank you,” but acknowledged the hard times and acted as a reminder of what a badass she is.

The song was delivered to my inbox, and with it came a cascade of laughter and joy.  It wasn’t just a gift; it was a handcrafted echo of inside jokes, focused prayers, wishes and shared memories.  I couldn’t wait to play it for her on my next visit.

On a cold February morning, under a four-poster bed overlooking Central Park, I asked Mama if I could play her a song. 

“Sure,” she said, always up to hear something new.  I’d handwritten the lyrics on a sheet of paper which I slid into her hands and hit “play.”  I watched the first verse light up her face as she realized the song was about her.  It prompted tears, laughter, and a shared moment of reflection that replayed the history and hope of our unique bond.  When it ended, she kissed me and said:

“Play it again?”

This time we sang along.  Through Songfinch, I found a way to send my prayers, offer my condolences, and sing my thanks in somebody else’s voice to somebody else’s beat.  I found a way to make my mother laugh and that, my friends, is The Gift.

Los Angeles, CA – “Take Another Little Piece of My Heart Now Baby” – January 28, 1999

I awoke with my insecurities screaming.  My nighttime demons haven’t visited me in quite some time and I feel their abuse more intensely as a result.   Without Kipp, I have no one except my pen and journal to console me. The last resident in this hotel room smoked cigars, I’m sure of it, despite the “Smoke-Free Room” signs plastered everywhere and the sweet-stale stench adds insult to injury.

In the dream I just arrived from, I’d been on the phone with my lawyer finishing up a conversation when I “by the way” -ed him.

“By the way, Fred, what’s up with that movie soundtrack we were going out for?  ‘Anywhere But Here.’  Did the producers like Mom’s and my song “Amity” for it?” Pause.

“Uh…..” said dream Fred, “we didn’t get it.”  My dream heart felt soggy.

“Really?  We didn’t get it?  I thought it was a done deal.  Do you know why they passed on it?”

“Yes,” Said Fred “but I don’t think I should tell you…” I woke up feeling guilty, exhausted, and frantic.

I lie in the dark, holding my breath, eyes shut thinking about the audition I have tomorrow for the role of Janis Joplin.  After my ego-petting-zoo experience playing at the Hollywood Bowl with Dad, I somehow wound up with a movie agent despite my disinterest or talent.  Nevertheless, Rick Ax, having seen me perform, insists I have natural talent and sends me for auditions whenever I noncommittally roll through town for music-related things.  I’ve read for “High Fidelity,” “Coyote Ugly” and “Three Kings” and nothing has ever come of it, and never before have I cared.  But… playing Janis in a movie depicting her life would be something else.

I stare at the space between my blanket hem and a crooked sprinkler in the blue-grey ceiling, clutching my anxious rabbit of a heart.   I imagine myself in a casting director’s office trying to mimic Janis Joplin, an impossible task if there ever was one. As I read the lines, everyone starts laughing at me. 

“Sorry, sorry,” they apologize not being able to help themselves, “Please go on,” they insist before exploding into uncontrollable hysterics again.

I turn over, nearly taking out the Aztec-patterned lamp on the bedside table in this wretched downtown Hollywood hotel. I’m hoping to shake the night demons but they come at me from a new angle: Music.   

I hear people saying, “I don’t hear the hit.”  “Where’s the single?” I’m desperate and sad and letting everyone down.  I’ve gotten way over my head.  I feel trapped.  I’ve got to get out of here!!!

It’s noon:30 when I wake up again, slightly hungover. I splash water on my face and answer the door when Scott Sax, my writing partner from Warner-Chappel, knocks.  He drives the demons out with his funky suit jacket and Puff Daddy hat and his sweet, cool, funny vibe.

Together, we partially write, two songs, “All This Time,” and “March Like Soldiers.” He is a lifesaver. I am honored to get to write with him. Thank GOD he came when he did.

Los Angeles, CA – “Snapshot at a Quarter Century ” – January 6, 1999

It’s the day before my 25th birthday and my moods are as tropical as a pina colada.  I cannot stand the way I feel in my skin.  I look fat and bloated especially when I smile which makes me frown and feel worse.  My eyelids feel too heavy to open and my hair feels like straw.  

The fact that it’s a glorious day and I’m in a green Mustang convertible, sipping a mocha frappuccino outside a Starbucks on Sunset Strip just proves that happiness is not contingent on external circumstances.  Joy is an inside job. 

Let’s see, how can I summersault myself into a different way of metabolizing this moment….

I’m wearing my tight red sweater.  Golden, shoe-string braids hang lightly over my shoulders. The breeze is cool on my cheeks and life is actually pretty sweet.  I mean fuck it,that my new barrettes flew out of the window as I cruised down the 10.  Fuck it that my pants feel tight around my waist.  I am a totally powerful babe and pitying myself for being a woman is not, and has never been helpful.

There, that’s better.

Dad called while I was grabbing breakfast at “The Firehouse” in Venice.  Over an egg white omelet and hot coco, he congratulated me on making it to a quarter century.

“You’re half my age and you’ll never be younger than half my age EVER again!” He reported enthusiastically which I thought was a very dad-like calculation to have made.  I thanked him for inviting me to this life and letting me tag along for a while on his.  He liked that.

“That’s a good thing for you to say my Sal.”