Siam Reap, Cambodia – “Dean Proposes” – June 2, 2002

Monks chant, incents unfurls lazy fingers through the air, and the hum of motorbikes bearing the weight of entire families balance on two wheels —This is Siam Reap.

We’re visiting Angkor Wat, in Cambodia — 402 acers of temples dedicated to the Hindu god Vishnu built during the 12th century.  Dean and I are winding down a full day of exploration by visiting Angkor Wat’s largest most iconic temple of the 70 on site.  This particular structure was designed to represent Mount Meru, the sacred mountain in Hindu and Buddhist cosmology, symbolizing the center of the universe. I like the idea of visiting the center of the universe to cap off the perfect day.

Dean and Sal got engaged in the structure on the far right

Surprisingly, there is only a trickle of people left from the day’s tourist busses, we pretty much have the place to ourselves. It’s still hot, though the sun is nearly gone, and the cool blue dusk is falling. Monks stride along precarious tiers of blue temple rock in crimson and saffron robes.

Henri Mouhot

These grounds, marking the largest religious monument in the world, were only discovered and reclaimed from the dense Cambodian jungle after a curious French explorer, Henri Mouhot, came upon them unexpectedly on his trails. I imagine him in 1860, with his curled mustache, chancing upon an abandoned temple while machete-ing swaths of ravenous jungle, out for a day of adventure. How his heart must have stumbled out of his chest when he cast his eyes upon the love and devotion that etched these intricately carved stones, with apsaras and scenes of Hindu epics whispering stories of the Khmer Empire’s grandeur. 

This is The South Thousand God Library. Dean meditated on the pillar the monk is standing on and proposed to Sal under the pillar on the right.

Dean and I reverently hike the steep steps to the top of what once was an ancient library (The South Thousand God Library). There, facing west, the last strips of the sun fall warmly against our cheeks.

The monks chanting grows louder as the sun sinks and Dean suggests we meditate a while.  There are two perfect pillars to set our legs into lotus position and we face the sun as it sets on the horizon.  I close my eyes and rest in the moment but find it hard to settle my mind. 

We weren’t even supposed to be in Cambodia 24 hours ago.  As far as I knew, Dean was taking us on a Hawaiian vacation before the last leg of my summer tour.  Only after I refused to repack my cute new summer outfits into a smaller bag, three hours before our flight, did he succumb to admitting what he truly had in mind.

Some of the monks chanting that night


“Honey,” he cupped my head and brushed my brow with his thumb “I need you to take a smaller bag because we’re not going to Hawaii.”  My best friend, Laura was with us, helping me pack.  She sat down on the bed beside me, giggling.  Tasked with babysitting our two new humane society rescue cats, Tallulah Magenta Del Rio and Boris Erasmus El Guapo III, while we were away—she was in on the plan.

Tallulah Magenta Del Rio & Boris Erasmus El Guapo try to disguise themselves as clothes.

“We’re going to South East Asia,” he announced with a glint in his eye.

“WHAT?!?!” I said, disorientated.  I would have believed him if he hadn’t been so damn convincing with all those Hawaiian brochures.  What was I going to do with all these straw hats and string bikinis?

“Are you kidding me?!?!  I can’t go to Asia,” I protested, “I don’t even know where my passport is!” I despaired. 

“Oh no, you do have a passport.  It was buried under a sea of photos of old boyfriends, but I found it,” he chuckled, whipping out my small navy passport, and we all laughed til our sides hurt. 

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Of course, I was overjoyed.  I LOVE to travel and I’d never been to South East Asia.  It was Dean’s knowledge of the culture and religion coupled with his familiarity and passion for the country that initially attracted me to him in the first place. The first night we spent together we’d been sitting on his couch after he’d invited me in for a drink. When he started talking about his adventures through Thailand and Laos, I got so excited about meeting someone who loved travel as much as I did, I’d had to stop him. “You’re going to have to quit what you’re saying,” I’d cut him off mid-sentence, “I’m going to have to kiss you now.” I’d said. That kiss had planted the seed for this moment, so the idea that he was taking me to his favorite place on the planet was mind-blowing and earth-shattering at once. 

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With Laura’s help, I managed to ditch the majority of my sundresses, exchanging them for hiking shorts and t-shirts.  A couple of hours later, we were on the plane that would deliver us here—to this sun-drenched moment, to this breath to this eternal place — the center of the universe, with the world at our feet.

When I start to feel the warmth of the sun fade on my face, I open my eyes. The twilight’s chased the brightness from the sky and there, beneath me, on one knee, is Dean. He’s staring up at me with a nervous smile playing on his lips, one arm extended, and a ring in his hand.

“Be my Tomboy Bride?” He asks.

And I say…

“Yes.”

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The next days were magical — a kaleidoscope of laughter, dragonflies, street food and music. We were aloft in a timeless, weightless high of colossal proportions.  On our last day, our driver, Pisith, decided to show us to a local museum.  A small establishment set up by a local hero, Aki Ra, who’d been an ex-child soldier, ordered by the Kamer Rouge to plant landmines in the soil. 

He’d made it his mission to remove as many of the indiscriminate weapons from the area as he could in his lifetime, using proceeds from the museum.  I held my heart as I walked through the inhumanity of the recent war that killed so many.  At the end of our visit I came across a weathered photo album on display.  Opening it, I found a girl not more than five years old with crutches and a missing leg.  She looked out at me above the caption, “This girl will never be married because of her injury,” and I started to sob.

Dean came up behind me, and I turned to bury my head in my fiancé’s chest.  “We’ve got to do something,”  I said.  The joy of my impending marriage juxtaposed against this girl, whose injury would bar her from having a similar fate, was too much for my heart to bear.  We took Aki Ra’s card and promised him we’d be back. 

On the plane ride home, I fiddled with my new engagement ring.  “I think we should find an organization that supports landmine victims when we get back to the States and start working for them.  What do you think?” I asked my soon-to-be husband.  “I think we should start our own organization,” he stared out the window dreaming a bigger dream for us.  By the time we approached the tarmac at La Guardia, Dean had filled at least ten cocktail napkins with steps we’d need to take to make “The Tranquility Project,” a reality.

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3 Replies to “Siam Reap, Cambodia – “Dean Proposes” – June 2, 2002”

  1. Wow, Sally! What a romantic and exotic wedding proposal. I applaud your philanthropy and sadness that sprung out of your personal euphoria. You are a generous soul.

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  2. Oh I am so excited to hear all about your South Asian Trips Sally.
    One of my fave places in this world ☔️🪷🐸💞🧘‍♀️💞
    Such a beautiful wedding proposal ” Bong Srolanh Oun ” amongst the beautiful people and sacred culture of Cambodia.
    “JAH” OM …💖😌🪷🧘‍♀️💖

    Reply

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