The CD release party was, phewwwwww, a big success. There were over 300 people there and we got an encore.   Jeremy and Kenny killed every song. They were so tuned into each other I felt I was actually playing with professionals.

And Dave Rastatter! Oh my God, he was amazing.  Thank God he was available to fill in for Brian on the drums last minute.  He punctuated every tune with flare AND snare and learned all my songs in less than a week.  We sold 79 CDs after the show. The line wrapped around the lobby in zigzags. I shook all customer’s hands, smiled for photos, and signed each and every CD sold.

Zuba’s lead singer, Liza Oxnard, and I got a little acoustic gig the next day singing unplugged, with a pair of guitars strapped to our backs, at Buffalo Exchange (the very parking lot I made my first home when I arrived in Boulder).  Inside the second-hand store was every funky garment you could dream of. When I asked if we could wear some of their garb for our sets we were told to “have at it.” 

Like kids in a candy store, we picked out rhinestone-covered roller skates for each other, bright orange boating life vests, and fleece-lined earflap hunting caps with rainbow ski goggles.  As customers shopped we traded off songs while skateing through isles having a total blast.  Liza is really sweet despite her armor-like demeanor.  No one could have such soft skin and be bad.  I love her.  She’s always been one of my musical heroes and it was an honor to play with her in my first (parking lot) home away from home.

After we strummed and sang and turned in our ski goggles and rollerskates, I walked home with a box of CDs I managed not to sell, under my arm.   I decided to drop by the post office on my way home.  My shipping center is located in a duplex shared with a gun shop.  Randomly, a big burly fella was aiming a shotgun at a stuffed buffalo head on the wall when I walked in and nearly scared the CDs out of me. 

Rick, the PO attendant who is adorable and wears nothing but plaid flannel, told me “You’ve got a lot of mail!  and it’s from all over the place!!”  I opened my box “Suite #176 ;)” to reveal 25 individual orders for Tomboy Bride!  I was shocked beyond words and got to work straight away.  I filled out all the envelopes and put little handwritten notes in each one.

I can’t tell you how fortunate I feel.  Who knew you could sell CDs on the World Wide Web?!?!

Once upon a time I believed I needed to be a star to be important, to be loved, to be loveable but in the process, I stopped loving myself and started loving an image of myself.

“The music business is harsh,” Mama said, “the closer you get to #1 the greater the insecurity.  The more success you get, the more you feel you’ve got something to prove.  You can never rest.  Your next album has always got to be better…” and all I can think as she speaks and I unintentionally strangle the receiver is:  ‘This is not me.  This is not who I am.  I am a musician.  I am not a ‘star.’  Thank God I am not signed to a label.’  Yet here I am in this little parked car with 800 CDs in the trunk.  I sold a few in the mail this week which I packaged and sent off with little handwritten thank-you notes.  I also got an order from a record store in Japan which I think is pretty cool and wild.

I rehearsed for the upcoming Tomboy Bride gigs with Kenny Castro (bass) and Brian McRae (drums) last night at Tribes Drums headquarters.  Tribes is a major upgrade from the Doppler Circus garage space.  It has an actual heating system, a soundboard that doesn’t crackle and threaten electrocution, and looks out over the mountains where the sky blushes at sunset.  Brian and Kenny are AWESOME and have agreed to be my rhythm section (Thank God!).  They showed up to our first rehearsal with bells on, and my songs memorized and ready to be counted off.  But my guitar player of choice, Jeremy Lichter from Martha’s Vineyard has been flakier than a chemical peel.   It’s a terrible sign that he’s still not here in Boulder two weeks after his due date and he hasn’t even called me.  I just have to pray he’ll be here soon and know the material. 

As I returned to my apartment the sky was chock full of stars and I could feel autumn in the air.  ‘This is the first Fall I won’t be returning to school in my LIFE’ it occurred to me.  But I reassured myself that this next chapter will still be an education for me; a musical education.  No matter what, Fall always feels to me like a new beginning, like the first dunk into a cool pool, a baptism.