Somewhere in Kansas – “We’re On TV!”- September 29, 2000

Spanning 900 miles, our road trip from Boulder to Malden, Missouri marks the start of a new tour, a tour we’ve cleverly named “D Tour.” This stretch of highway is flat, filled with endless cornfields, cows, and cumulus clouds billowing like bong hits on the horizon.

I’m at a gas station somewhere in the expanse of Kansas, standing at the counter when I catch a glimpse of myself and Kenny in grainy black and white on the security monitor overhead. It shows our backs, the cashier behind us, a display of candy, and the juice I’m about to purchase.

“Hey, Kenny,” I say, grabbing his arm, “We’re on TV!” I whisper, pointing at the screen without breaking my gaze. But instead of Kenny’s familiar voice, I hear, “I’m glad I’m not doing anything illegal,” come out of the man (not Kenny) whose arm I’ve embraced.

I gradually loosen my grip, and turn my gaze to find a man at least three decades older than Kenny. I offer him a sheepish chuckle, and he nods gracefully. With a mix of embarrassment and humor, I hurry out of the gas station, eager to share the hilarious mishap with the rest of the band.