Bryn Mawr, PA – “Imitation Drakkar” – The Point Bryn – July 27, 2000

The morning after our gig at The House of Blues in Boston was gray and rainy, a fitting backdrop as we retraced our steps back along the coast. We’ve been ziging and zagging from gig to gig for seven nights straight. We’ve played in Maine, Martha’s Vineyard, New Bedford, New York, Boston, and finally Philly last night. Sleep? Barely. Time to write? Nonexistent.

“Big Ben! Parliament!”* we yelled in unison, passing for the third time, that giant blue plastic bug perched on the building just outside Providence on I-95. Our pit stop routine had become a ritual at this point, hitting the same gas station as yesterday. My lyrics—“Stretch me out, I’m your rubber band. State to state, don’t know where I am”—felt particularly fitting as the rain spat rather than poured, dodging us as we dashed inside, collars over heads.

We knew the drill inside the gas station. Fruits to the left, auto magazines to the right, bad coffee in the back, and a single unisex bathroom we have to stand in line for holding our bladders, listening urgently for the flush and running water followed by the ripping of paper towel, and unbolting click of the door.

In our bleary-eyed, boisterous mood, Soucy leaned over like he was about to share a secret. Instead, he stuck his whole tongue in my ear. “Yuck, Soucy!” I yelled, scanning the store for retribution. My eyes landed on a rack of imitation cologne sprays. Grabbing one, I launched an all-out attack, drenching him with designer knockoff Drakkar Noir. The air now reeked of teen cologne, testosterone-y memories and laughter, and suddenly we were all in a heap on the sticky floor, laughing so hard our sides hurt.

Even the old guy behind the counter, wearing prescription glasses with sun visors flicked up was laughing with us even though he’d no doubt be stuck with the stench for the next 48 hours. Soucy, doing his best Pepe Le Pew impression, choked out between laughs, “I don’t think that’s a sample, Sal. You’re gonna have to pay for that cologne now.” Honestly, for $1.50, owning my own arsenal of ‘Drakkar’ to torment Soucy whenever I pleased was a bargain.

The show at The Point was sold out long before we arrived. I absolutely adore playing there and the crowd never fails to laugh both with and at us. The especially roared when Soucy took a guitar solo and I took the opportunity to spray him into a cloud of Drakar on stage. Soucy, however, did not appreciate it and I expect I might have to pay for my mischeviousness for weeks to come.

** Vocabulary:
“Big Ben, Parliament” is a line from European Vacation that Chevy Chase utters. Scenario: He’s gotten himself stuck on a rotary in London and for whatever reason, can’t get off and he keeps passing Big Ben & Parliament, which he’d initially, excitedly pointed out to his family when they’d first got on the rotary, but as he passes it for the 1000th time he sarcastically sputters between tears and laughter “Look kids, Big Ben!Parliament.” So we use the line when we yo-yo a highway a bunch in one tour, or when we miss an exit and have to turn around to find it again.