Camino, CA – “Here, put on these Handcuffs” – Rainbow Orchards – September 9, 2000

I’d never set foot in an orchard, much less played a gig in one, and neither had the rest of the band. It turned out to be the most magical experience any of us had ever had. Smiles hung from tan faces as ripe as the fruit that hung from their trees.  Children with a twinkle in their eye, played hide and seek in frilly dresses between the apple trees whoes branches looked like the weathered hands of old jazz musicians. The stage was nestled in the heart of the orchard. Apart from a small, cleared area where people danced, the crowd was tucked away under the shade of trees laden with juicy apples, clinging like ornaments on crooked, dark branches. It was the most mystical place I think I’d ever been.

The crowd was wonderful too —generous, joyful, and earthy, like the dust that mingled with the air. We were on just before Jefferson Starship, and as we poured our hearts into the orchard, bubbles drifted lazily past the stage, adding to the dreamlike landscape.

Afterwards, while signing CDs, some little boys came up and blew bubbles for me. I caught them in my mouth and blew them back, much to their delight. I spent the rest of the afternoon playing bubble games with them, sipping cider, and lounging on a patchwork quilt beneath the arms of the orchard. We slurped peaches and listened as the psychedelic sounds of Jefferson Starship painted new kaleidoscopic colors across the sky, filtering through the gaps in the branches above.

We also met some really cool cops there. Since we’d almost been arrested in McAlester, Oklahoma back in May, we thought it would be funny to take some photos in a McAlester, OK T-shirt, with the cops joining in. They were all for it, and soon enough, we were taking turns wearing the T-shirt, posing as the cops directed us in hilarious scenarios.

“Okay, now we’re gonna throw you in the back of the paddy wagon, and you try to escape,” they said.

“Here, put on these handcuffs.”

“Now, let’s do a dominatrix one. Sally, hold my club like you’re going to whack us, and we’ll bow at your feet.” They came up with all sorts of ideas, and who was I to refuse a bunch of cops? It was a blast!

When we ran out of film, we hopped into Moby and headed off to Lake Tahoe. The orchard’s promoters sent us away with a gigantic carton of peaches, a jug of cider, a frozen apple pie, and aching bellies from laughing so hard.

What a day!